With being single and not currently employed in architecture, I couldn’t help but recognize the similarities in rectifying these situations.
Efforts in dating and job searching relate better than you would think. Here are my top ten.
1- It’s best to know who you are and what you want.
* Example A: “I want to work endless hours for a starchitect with the hopes of one day being the next Frank.” Gehry or Wright…same difference.
* Example B: “I want a trophy wife, 2.5 kids and a dog named Lassie.” I’ve always wondered…Exactly how does one acquire .5 of a kid?
My point is you better know exactly what you want so you don’t settle for less.
2- Make sure you’ve got great pickup lines to catch the potential date/firm’s interest.
* “I’ve got what it takes to help make your vision a reality.”
* “The only thing your eyes haven’t told me is your name.”
3- The First Date is The Interview is The First Date.
* What’s THE WORST is when the first date feels like a dry interview. Stale with the seemingly endless questions by the only one at the table who’s interested, where time slows down and not in a good way.
* What’s THE BEST for both dating and interviewing is when that first hour goes by too fast and both parties are interested in more. *wink, wink*
4- It’s best not to get too attached too early. In dating and job searching, nobody is attracted to desperation.
5- Rejection will happen. Don’t let it discourage you from your dream job/partner.
6- Timing must be right. You may want something that they can’t give you right now.
7- If expectations aren’t clear, both parties will be unhappy.
8- Once you’ve landed the job/relationship, it’s daily work.
9- It’s also important to periodically asses the job/relationship to review performance, evaluate points of weakness and set goals for improvement.
10- Feeling unfilled within the job/relationship? Can’t get all your needs met? This is when the wandering eye begins, which may lead to infidelity.
There are of course a few differences between dating and job searching, but for some reason I could only come up with three.
1- The internet seems more effective for dating than for job searching.
2- Networking seems more effective for job searching than for dating.
3- But the critical difference is that the job market is inevitably run by the dollar while dating is run by the heart (or hormones).
What’s hard is that most of us in architecture put so much heart and energy into our career that when something out of our control happens and takes away the object of our affection, we are awaken to the fact that it’s just business, there’s a bottom line. This realization feels like a really ugly break-up and makes me wonder, how many architects are romantics?
This is not an original comparison. Sadly for some of this insight I can’t take the credit. Below were the best websites I found when I typed “job search and dating” into Google. And the pickup line site….that’s just for good fun.
San Francisco Noobs
The Most Complete and Most Useless Collection of Pick-Up Lines